Four years ago today, my scented partner in crime Thomas (aka The Candy Perfume Boy) and I started @FragrantReviews. The concept is simple: fit a descriptive review into 140 characters, with a star rating. In the time since, we’ve amassed over 700 reviews, 3000+ followers, and better still: we have both been able to improve as writers – both of us being nominated for Jasmine Awards, with Thomas winning one earlier this year! Sadly, there’s not yet a category for best Twitter soundbite.
We’ve decided to celebrate our fourth birthday in our normal pithy style, picking out our favourite 140 character reviews from the last 4 years.
Paco Rabanne Black XS: Death by foam strawberries *
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) July 4, 2012
Thomas finds Black XS perhaps a little too sweet, even for his tastes.
Eau d’Italie Eau d’Italie/It’s a beauty: transparent green bitter incense with the merest hint of seabreeze over sunbaked terracotta/****
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) April 23, 2012
A quick sniff of Eau d’Italie’s truly evocative depiction of Positano.
Serge Lutens L’Eau Froide: Cold, grey incense with mentholated notes of mint and rosemary. Barren, sparse & lonely. A scent of solitude ****
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) March 3, 2012
Thomas smells loneliness in Lutens L’Eau Froide.
Huitieme Arts Sucre d’Ebene/The smell of sunday morning: coffee, brown sugar, and a slight resinous drydown/****
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) August 28, 2011
Sucre d’Ebene inspires a trip down memory lane.
Bond No 9 Coney Island: Fruity Margherita that causes an instant hangover with an awful pernicious aquatic vanilla. Pass the bucket please *
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) May 31, 2011
Thomas struggled with a Bond No 9 hangover.
Givenchy Pi/Vanilla, pine, benzoin and wet dog. Lasts 20 minutes. Totally perverse trick of perfumery./****
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) August 5, 2011
Givenchy are perverts for releasing Pi: a scent with next to no longevity.
Illuminum White Gardenia Petals: A modest bouquet of muguet (no gardenia) & creamy ylang softened by white musk. A bit like Dove Shampoo ***
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) May 7, 2011
Kate Middleton’s alleged wedding fragrance smells a bit like Dove Shampoo.
D&G 3 L’Imperatrice/Kiwi melon fruity floral. Smells cheap. Sure to make people ask what shampoo you use./*
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) March 22, 2011
Gee, your hair smells terrific!
Karl Lagerfeld for Him: A bland fougère consisting of top notes of ‘blah’, heart notes of ‘yawn’ and an intense blast of ‘meh’ in the base *
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) May 5, 2014
Thomas’s school report for Lagerfeld: must try harder.
Nu_Be 16S Sulphur/Filthy brimstone and dark, dank mineral and woods notes. Smoke and ink. The smell of Nightcrawler’s bamf./*****
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) February 3, 2014
Achievement Unlocked: reference X-Men in a fragrance review.
Balenciaga Rosabotanica: A purple rose crafted from sticky-back plastic and arranged amongst vinyl green nettles. Floral Futurism ****
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) February 8, 2014
Sometimes the character limit forces us to write wildly creative reviews, like in this example from Thomas.
The Vagabond Prince Enchanted Forest/Undiluted blackcurrant cordial./**
— Fragrant Reviews (@fragrantreviews) January 12, 2014
Scathing reviews are best kept short.
Thomas has selected his favourites over on TCPB. Have a go at your own 140 character review: it’s not as easy as it sounds!